Anonymous said: Recent grad struggling to find a way to pay the bills. How do you manage writing and $$?
Very poorly. But I’m not poor; I just never formed the habit of living, the way most people do. They know how bad for you living is, but they simply choose not to believe it. Instead, they wake up and, without a second thought, without knowing they are deciding, decide to live.
I am not one of these people. Every day I wake up and think why. I know I’ll decide to live like everyone else, but why, and why if I’m going to do it do I fail to do it automatically, as a habit, or why if I am addicted like the rest which I am and I know do I remain the kind of addict who believes each time she reaches for air that it’s her choice, that she wants this, that it’s not like she needs it, oh no, she could refuse it if she felt like it, but she doesn’t feel like it, no, it’s the last time, maybe, maybe not.
Given my relationship to air how do you think I fare with water? To answer your question, in a way.
my bambina, coming correct
I can write because my idea of “living” is usually different than yours.
Being anti-drugs (and, 90% of the time, anti-booze) and anti-unsafe-sex and anti-casual-meanness and anti-thoughtlessness and anti-assumptions and anti-random-no-big-deal-style-dishonesty can really make you seem anti-fun, I realize, but in actuality, it’s so much the opposite.
"Was that reassuring to you in a way?"
(37:10 is killer)